Living with Traumatic Brain Injury

Hi, Im Debbie. I was in a high speed head on on Nov. 15, 2004. He died after getting to the hospital. I was told he was speeding, about 75. The impact was about 120 miles. I was out cold and have no memory. I had daily flashbacks over and over of a dark vechicle coming at me and i froze, no time to react.

I woke up on the other side of the road in a ditch up against a embakment of dirt. There was a birch tree hanging over my window. My right foot was trapped on the gas peddle under the dash board. My left foot was badly trapped backwards under my chair. I couldnt move. the dash was on my knees. i was in a hightop van, alone. i never felt so alone as i tried to get out. i screamed for help and for God to let me live. The engine scared me as it was making a grinding sound and smoke was everywhere. I couldnt get the key off. I finally did turn it but it would not come out.

Finally there was a man coming down the hill on his phone. I yelled please get me out its going to blow up!! he said no it wont, but wouldnt come near me. The police, emts fire dept etc finally came but couldnt get in to me. i had my cane with me and reached over and opened the door. mine wouldnt open and windows wouldnt work. they rushed in put oxygen on asked 100 questions and tried to get me out. they couldnt. so one emp yelled, get the jaws of life!! then i was in and out of consiousness. i couldnt stay awake.

i was airlifted to westchester. a week later helen hayes. my legs were bad. blown up like elephant legs. i needed leg stitches and left foot was broken. i cant recall everything. at helen hayes i did rehab and therapy. i had so many head problems that were being ignored. i was pissed. i knew from westchester i had a tbi. i was in pain, dizzy, fell onto the bathroom wall, floor was doin designs and the wall was moving. i had to get a neuro myself and he validated me.

my dr in charge was a total jerk. no bedsidemanner and didnt listen at all. my stitches were to come out by 7-10 days. i kept asking him and he made me wait 17 days!! he could not find them now and it hurt so bad while he tugged and jerked what he could see.

i was sent home despite my drs saying i needed subacute. if i stayed i would be charged 1500 a day. i left. big mistake, now i had to fight for what i needed and lost. my insurance refused me despite many drs saying i needed this. four years later i suffer in pain from head to toes. i have neuropathy memory problems, neck and head pain of varous types. i just got tested for seizures again. i loose time and have memory blanks i cant explain.

i am a survivor and glad i lived. i was told i should not be alive. but i am. i need support terribly. i am going to 2 tbi meetings a month but i need more. i get no love or support from my husband. i feel so alone. my kids arent too bad but can be hurtful even though they dont mean to. write me anytime. theres so much more i could say but my eyes dont like the light on here. keep on healing and God bless you all., Debbie