Living with Traumatic Brain Injury

So my 54yo healthy, extremely active mother and I have always had this really close relationship. Of course we had some rough times when i was younger and dumber but it made us closer in the end. So we talk everyday and even in my adult life I still depend on her in lots of ways, and she on me. So we basically play an intricate role in each others lives..

12:30 am on October 31’st 2007, I’m just falling asleep to get ready for my fairly new job as a graduate ICU RN and my phone rings. It’s my mom and she says, “Christina I have this horrible headache. I think somethings wrong. So i ask her if she has any chest pain or if her arm feels numb and she says, “Yes my arm feels tingly like i slept on it.” So now i’m Awake.. I get there and my mothers slouched over the bathroom sink in the dark moaning in pain, I turn the light on and i notice her mouth is dropping on one side.

I knew at this point my fears where real, so i call 911. It felt like an hour went by and in every second that went by she got worse. She slipped in and out of conciousness and was Yelling for her teeth, OH man was all I kept saying in my head, this cannot be happening. Next the ambulance comes and by now shes vomiting like the exorcist, everywhere. All i kept thinking is they’ll give her a clot buster and she’ll be fine.

Well when we got to the ER the Doc bursted my bubble when he informed us that my mother had a massive cerebral hemmorraghe [hemorrhage] that was pushing on her brain stem. ” Theres not much we can do @ this time!!” For the first time in my life i wished that i had NO medical knowledge!! When i nuerosurgeon says that it’s bad! So I lost it, and as Im lossing it my mothers BP bottoms out and her pupils blow, indicating brain stem issues next they rushed her off for an emergency craniotomy.

Now it’s 2 1/2 months later and yes my mother was in the ICU who’s ventilator alarms and drips were all to familiar to me, and yes she had a feeding tube placed and half her hair is missing but she is very much alive and her mind is very much intact. Her left side however, is completely flaccid, no movement whatsoever… emotionally well she has classic right brain injury, impulsive, moody, cranky, and down right inappropriate @ times. But i can deal with all of that. She will be home on Saturday, for good. If it was not for my medical backround that i not so long ago cursed and my sisters help, she would not be coming home to this house. I feel for all of those TBI pt’s and they’re families that are lost in the process of, ” Well recovery time is very long and this person is not going to make great progress here, so we must move them out to whatever discharge place is convenant and feasible to be ready for them in the next week.” Not only is there all of the preperations for the immense care these pt’s need but you wonder will this ever get better?

I ask myself, is this my mother? Everyday i look at these defecits and i thank whatever force that’s in control for her and her limitations. This we can deal with, her not here with us we can’t.