Living with Traumatic Brain Injury

Ten years ago, I was six months pregnant with my second child. My first pregnancy did not go well and this pregnancy was not going very well. I started have problems with my family. To begin with my dad had gotten remarried and his wife didn’t want him to have anything to do with his former children. She wrote me a terrible letter and started harassing me. This caused problems in my relationship. It also caused problems with my mother.

At this time my sister was also going through a divorce. My world had gone out of control. I developed problems eating and sleeping. I also had a three year old to take care of while her dad worked long hours to afford our new home. I had to help with her while I was pregnant.

My oldest sister came for a visit and I decided I still wasn’t feeling well so we went to a local hospital, it was Labor Day weekend and the hospital was very busy. My daughter was hungry and we waited several hours with no help. We decided to leave and go to my sister-in-law’s. I ask my sister if she would watch my daughter and I would return to the hospital the next day. I got up before everyone because I was still having problems sleeping. I went to the hospital myself. I waited again and I called my sister from the hospital. The hospital talked to her. Then after that I was told I was being admitted a nurse came to take me to a floor to my room and I went with her.

I went into the room and the next thing I knew a nurse took my purse and they started going through it. I could believe it I realized I had be locked on a psych. ward. The door was locked and I freaked—-I was taken for two ultrasounds. So I don’t even think they believed me when I told them I was 6 months pregnant because I didn’t look it. I only weighted 133 lbs. I refused any medication because of my unborn child. Nurses keep telling me that this medication would not hurt my baby but I did not believe them. I called my husband and my mom to get some help and they came to the hospital. This only added to my problems because they sided with the hospital. I refused treatment and got mad at the hospital and ran off the floor several times. On one occasion my mother chased me down the steps and I almost fell. I was given needles against my will and the hospital decided to commit me!

I did not have a lawyer! I had some kind of caregiver. I refused to go to the hearing- but I realized I had no other choice, everyone was against me and I was so scared and alone.
It has been a long hard road since that time. I was in and out of psych wards. Doctors told me I had a bipolar illness and I would never be able to get off the drugs I was taking. My daughter had to be born a month early. She had jaundice and breathing problems. It is still hard to recall the events of what happened to me. I’m still confused!

Two years ago I decided to get off the medications after my 10 year old daughter told me that she wished she had a normal mom that could get out of bed and fix her breakfast. My other daughter that was 8 at the time told me I was like the devil! I had to make a choice because I was so tired of not being able to function on a daily basis! I made up my mind not to listen to anymore doctors. I took myself off the lithum. For nine months things went well then, at Christmas I started having problems. The children’s dad decides to call my mom. She came and made me go to the hospital. I went and I was just a repeat of ten years ago. It was like the nightmare happened again because I was refusing medications. I had to go along with everything just like the first time to be able to leave.

I went back to my old group meeting and was back on the medication. It was like I was stuck in a revolving door and I could not get out. The medications only made me worse but no one would listen.

I decided once and for all no matter what I would not take them. I stop listening to doctors and going to therapy.

I decided to spend some time looking into my own matters. I got my records from the hospital and found out I started taking thyroid medications when my daughter was two months old. I decided to do some research on the internet. I found out that women can start having problems with their thyroid when they are in menopause or pregnant.

This was probably what happened to me when I was pregnant and if the proper test would have been done, I would not have brain injuries due to being overmedicated from my thyroid. It happened a few months after I stopped taking the lithum. I lost my vision and I had a headache so bad that I had to have homeopathic light therapy in my eyes and I almost had a seizure Since then I found out I wasn’t even suppose to be taking lithum and my thyroid medications.

It is hard to deal with my vision problems and being tired sometimes, but I have been going to college for two years and was inducted into Pia Theta Kappa for my grades and I will always fight and ask God for strength no matter what the circumstances.

My 10 year old daughter has some learning problems but she is in the fourth grade and has made the honor roll all year and I’m so proud of her! My oldest daughter is in state’s custody because of all the problems we’ve had but she will be home with us soon and we are going into counseling. My children helped me see the light and so did God and I’m so thankful for everyday of my life. This situation made me realize that we should live everyday as if it is our last because we never know what could happen.