Living with Parkinson's Disease

Hi, my dad has suffered from PD since he was 30 years old and he is now 67. he is at the end stage of PD and has all the symptoms you can imagine. tremor,no balance, slow response, confusion, constipation and weak bladder, harsh involitary movements in his arms, difficulty swallowing and suffers halucinations. his personality changes all the time and will be lucid one moment and then on a different planet the next.

I have looked after him since i was 13 years old, had him moved into sheltered housing and now in the process of moving him into a nursing home. i am 27 and can not describe the pain that i feel every day because i watch him and cant seem to do anything that will help him. he forgets who i am sometimes and calls me by my mothers name and forgets where he lives. he can fall 15-20 times a day and is supposed to take about 30 tablets a day but he will not help himself some of the time which means he isnt medicated all the time.

i have no support from his family or his son and have been looking after him on my own since a young age. he has two good friends that help him but i feel i am being judged, like im not doing enough for him, like i havent seen my dad disappear in to this shell of a man. its even more distressing because he was a proud well educated man who worked and drove and now he needs someone to wash him, dress him etc.

i have never written on a site like this before about all of this but was just hoping to hear from people who understand and know what its like living with a relative/partner who has end stage PD……i suppose i wont feel so alone.