Living with Neuropathy

I was diagnosed with diabetes in 1992, (I was 32) Since then I have had so much trouble in keeping my sugars normal. No matter what I do. I was diagnosed as type 2 first and in a years time I was giving myself shots of insulin and I currently have type 1 diabetes, insulin dependent, on a pump. In 1995 my feet and legs (up to knees) tingled constantly. This was the start of my neuropathy It has gotten progressively worse over a short time. I have no other diabetes related problems (knock on wood). My eyesight is good, kidneys are perfect, heart/cholesterol perfect. But the neuropathy is ravaging my body. I can’t stop it and even though my sugars are better, it still continues to attack me. I imagine it like I am inside a ball that is getting smaller, and smaller. As the ball shrinks around me my nerves are dying an extremely painful death. My heart will be the last to go. I can’t get any doctor to tell me what exactly will become of me. My autonomic system is now affected and I have gastroparesis, and low blood pressure, (dead nerves in my calves don’t squeeze the blood to move to my heart), waist down pain and numbness just above the knees down. I constantly tingle in the areas of my back, shoulders, stomach. I know these areas will soon be dying. I take an array of drugs to stave off the pain; Tramadol, Lyrica (I’m allergic to Cymbalta), Reglan for the gastro problem, Amitriptyline, Lasix for swelling in my legs. Swelling makes the neuropathy hurt more. And Ambien when the nights are too painful to sleep. The pain, always the pain.
I don’t really have any advice to handle the excruciating pain that neuropathy brings. I do meditate and it helps me to not give into the pain. This might sound strange but sometimes when I meditate I let myself really feel the pain and mentally go to that area where I feel the center, where its starts. I let the pain know that I am in control of it. It is not in control of me. Feel it and let it know you are the master and no matter how hard it tries to bring you down, it will not succeed. Good Luck to all of you who suffer this extremely painful debilitant. My prayers are with you.