Living with Essential Tremor

i am 34 year old nurse who first noticed my symptoms in nursing school. a twitching in my back…my arms..hands and legs. sometimes visible to others and sometimes i am the only one aware. i tire very easily and if i over exert i pay for it with the onset of more shaking. i am so tired of people asking me “why are you shaking” it is tiresome to try to explain to people that i have this nerve condition that causes me to shake. as a nurse it’s almost embarrasing. there are things i cant do anymore. i cant draw blood. i dont administer eye oitments. my passion is wound care and i hope to be able to continue that. i have been married for 16 years and for the last 8 i have had these tremors

they get worse every year and i am scared they will eventually take over me. i do see a neurologist and take medication but i want to be normal again and do the things that normal people do. i want to ride my bike without worrying how i am going to get off without falling because my legs have gone weak and are shaking. i have to be careful climbing stairs because i never know if there is a lot of them if i will lose my balance and fall. i want to be able to drink something without having to worry about someone seeing my cup shake. the medication i have been on has helped me put on over 30lbs and has also let me start taking zoloft for some depression and mostly anxiety i have. i try real hard to just live one day at a time and be the best mom. wife. and nurse i can be but as time passes i know it will only get harder.

i really dont share my feelings about the disease because no one seems to get it. if they cant see the tremors are they there? sometimes i feel the firing of the nerves but you cant see the shaking on the outside. i am just a person living with this but i really would like to be just a person who can live…..and live to the fullest without worrying about how i will if i do this or that. or that i cant do things because of these blasted hands. i am hopeful that some day this will be more known and not just a bunch of us silent suffers. i once had a doctor say to me..”are they just an annoyance or are they really that debilitating?” my answer to her was” i am 34 years old….what do you think?