Living with Essential Tremor

I am now 21, I have had ET since I was in grade school, at least that’s as far back as I can think. I have always had a friend or family member ask in a very concerned tone, “Christin what’s wrong, are you ok?” I was finally diagnosed at 18-years old. I went to a Dr. who pretty much threw it off as, yeah you have tremors take propranolol and you’ll be ok. I took the medication for, I think it was, two weeks. I experienced the worst depression and instead of my heart slowing a little, it sped up, and my tremors actually got worse. So of course, as a young person, I freaked and stopped using it, which you aren’t supposed to do. But because my Dr. at the time was so nonchalant about it, I never took it again and never went back to him.

I recently went to my new Dr. because it’s affecting my job and she actually explained to me what it is. She went through the different medications with me and we planned out a process I will be going through if I have the same affects that I had the first time. One thing that she almost made me cry about was the fact that I may get worse, because it has gotten worse since I was younger. But the harsh blow to the heart was when she said, “You are young: you can find a job that you will not have to use your hands as much.” I just started a new career as a dental assistant. I have already had a lovely setback in my job because the other assistant that I work with has told another co-worker that the reason she won’t train me for a certain procedure is because my hands shake. In all actuality, that procedure does not require any steadiness at all, but I guess that’s ignorance.

I have had to live with holding paper and it shaking uncontrollably, and trying to hand a person a pencil and, just so I won’t drop it, I hold it very tight so when they try to take it a have a kung fu grip on it.

I am only 21 and I have had to deal with the comments since I was in grade school. I have had probably the best support because my close friends never made a big deal about it and my family is used to it but they still ask if anything has changed. It is very scary because I can’t control it.

I don’t know exactly where it came from because my father wasn’t around and no one else on my mother’s side has it, and I will begin to take this medication again that scared me to death the first time I took it. I just feel as if I am the only one with it. I know I’m not, but in my life circle, I am. Since I am just finding out what is going on with my body I am still in the learning phase. I am working to find out so much more about ET. I guess as a young person this is definitely a blow to the confidence. Now I just have to find a job that does not require as much hand usage and speaking (because my voice tremors are getting worse.)

Well, the thing I can say to any other person who is finding this out is learn as much as you can and don’t let it freak you out. Well, best of luck to all!!!!!