Living with Epilepsy/Seizures

I was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of 17….and yet i had already lived with it since the age of 2 months. admitted to the hospital at the age of 2 months for mennigitis and swelling of my brain and spine also reports of already having siezures..all through growing up my parents and teachers thought i was just ignoting them but little did they know i just did not hear them and when i did hear thim i would respond but by the time i responded the adult was already thinking i was mis behaving and ignoring them so being in trouble for not responding to them the first 3 to 5 times should have been a clear indication that i just did not hear them, but instead i was diagnosed with adhd…

then when i got a little older i was in the swim team we thought i was just having moments when my body froze up and i started having a really hard time staying above water just for a brief time and had terrible migrains that i would pass out from (now knowing i was not passing out but having siezures)..but i always just related this to maybe i just don’t do well with cold water but then again it would happen even with out having contact with cold water..but there again we were looking for an excuse not a reason…

as life went on i had learning difficulties speech issues and a variety of health problems that seemed to come and go…at i became older around 17 years old i was hanging out with a friend and started to have a gran mal siezure right in front of him…i was in and out of conciousness and all i really knew was one moment he was standing in front of me and next thing he was about 35 feet away going inside yelling for his mom to call 911 and then i was out again..i don’t even know how i ended up inside from out side…the ambulance came wisped me away and after test and more test they came to the conclusion i had frontal lobe epilepsy…

since then life has been a rollercoaster of moments…they tried me on a variety of siezure med. and meds that control siezures but were not specifically made for siezures..the only thing i think i havn’t tried is surgery! so far i have had adverse reactions to all the medicines they have put me on and my siezures are still uncontrollable..i found out after almost being crippled by a medicine i am in the select percentage that is allergic to anticonvulsants….oh boy now it just got interesting because now what do they do…i have damage with my short term memory i have heart issues including i have already had a small heart attack and the list can go on..i am worried i am going to sieze myself crazy..they have just diagnosed me with in the last year and a half with having psycotic breaks…i don’t know what life is going to be like in another 5 to 10 years i am only 27..i was so bright and intelligent before, i graduated validictorian with strait A’s and extra credits..

it is such a differen life when you can’t find your words or try to speak and all that comes out sometimes is gibberish, every thing is different and constantly changing and rearanging in my brain …It cerntantly puts an interesting and new perspective on life and things in general..but despite all the pro’s and con’s of having this condition i really love the life i live and think i am a better person for it..everyday is a new and exiting challenge..never give up…and always try new ways of living with your brain Malfunctions…thats what i call them to my friend instead of siezure.. if i know it or if it has been pointed out to me i just like to use my own little way of identification..like oops thier i go malfunctioning again and it also takes the scare out of it for other people..malfunction or my circuts went on a tanget..little phrases that make it less painfull to talk about ..siezure is a scary word to some..

some times when i am walking accross the room and my brain says sit and i drop in an innapropriate setting to a sitting position and then wonder what am i doing i was just heading to the other side of the room i joke with my friends and say that the master brain gave a comand and therefore i followed..it usally makes the people around me along with my self laugh instead of cryign and it also takes some of the actual humiliation away from is..well i hope this can help and inspire some people who are living with epilepsy and the malfunctions of the brain..I love my life and once you build a bond with life with epilepsy you realize epilepsy and a happy life really do and can go together.