Living with Epilepsy/Seizures

Just a few days ago I was hospitalized with a siezure. When I woke nearly 6 hours after the event I was in an ICU at the hospital with my brother sitting in a chair next to me. He then explained to me the whole story. I blacked out and collapsed and when everyone though it was over I started to become violent. Running around aimlessly in and out doors. I broke a table in our home and when my wife tried to calm me down I pushed her and pulled her by her hair. Neigbors came to help my wife but I would throw things at them. I actually went into other neighbors homes and continued acting this way even going so far as to push one down a few stairs. Finally when the poice and paramedics came they tackled me and strapped me to a board and took me to the hospital. when I woke hours later is when this story was told to me.

Has anyone ever heard anything like this. I thought with seizures you just collpased and fell to the ground convulsing. It seems so difficult for me to believe that something like this is possible while not being aware of it. How can your body be doing these things without your brain understanding what it is doing? Now I am home from the hospital, my wife and kids have moved out of the house because she is afraid of what migh happen if it were to happen again. What if I had pushed my 2 year old down the stairs or thrown something at him.

Right now I just do not know what to do. My seizures started about 5 years ago and I have not had a major episode like this ever. I have been taking medicine and seeing a neurologist but, here I am five years later and having an episode like this. My wife is scared of me, my neighbors don’t want anything to do with me because who knows what might happen next time. I feel all alone and like there is nothing I can do to fix this. I am going to see another specialist early next week but what if he tells me the same things. I already know. I am so scared that I have lost everything important to me to this disorder. Anything, anyone could suggest would be great. A note of empathy to anyone that is going through anything like this as well.