Living with Epilepsy/Seizures

When I entered College - competed the famous Ravi Behl in a martial arts competition and won. Then there was no looking back. College years went on, I participated in competitive dancing. It was great.

I have two certificates of Bombay’s best Dancer in break-dancing and salsa. I turned into a big flirt and had lavish days with females. The money earned was helping the house-hold in part, as father expired at age 13 and home weas lack of good income. Well, in ’86, when I was in TY, a 9-yr girl with lovely hair and a lovely name ‘Chhini’ came home for tuitions and turned my girl. Only God knows how, today she’s my wife.

OK, when I was judging a dance competition, saw that I’d forgotten to write marks for the sixth pair. Surprisingly, I asked my colleague and he said that I’d fallen asleep during that dance. Then during the TY accounts-I exam (timed 3-6 pm) I noticed that it was 5:15 and I was attempting the 2nd out of six questions. I went haywire. Whilst the papers were being collected, the supervisor said that I must not study as much that I sleep during the exam. I naturally failed and passed in October ’87. Then Air-India’s cabin crew exams. I passed the 4 interviews, 2 written tests, 2 elimination rounds, and suffered my stroke in the 2nd of three group discussions. A medical check-up revealed nil, but considered me an epileptic. My mind would bounce to sleep without a bit of signal of it’s arrival. Thus I’d always fall on my head, anywhere. It’s happened whilst cycling, on the rail track, falling off the bus. I’ve broken my own jaws 4 times. Doctor’s orders to stop swimming, cycling, driving, motorcycling, hang out from anyplace, weight training stopped, martial arts shut as the high black level req’d head-touch sparring, what not. Countless stitches on face, all front teeth broken, broken nose, heat scratches on the body while ironing; all this is just to name a few.

Epilepsy was considered a deadly disease by the Indian government then, and I would not get jobs. My stroke would sure occur in some time and I’d be thrown off. These places include Air-India, Godrej, Wockhardt Pharma, and a few more private places. Meanwhile, I lost my friends as my fits in between games and picnics would disturb the atmosphere; thus started to see a lonely life after all the glamour in the past. Streams of check-up followed by different psychologists, neuro surgeons, brain experts; big money spent on them and their medicines to no effect. My mother would cry aloud to God, in those days. All advises were tried; going to big priests, yogic medicines, homeopathy, magneto therapy, drinking urine, wearing colored stones and black or red threads, feng shui, visiting individuals claiming to have Godly bodies, going to temples and masjids in Lucknow and Calcutta to stay without food and then give ‘’sacrifice” of goats and cow. (cow in Calcutta to ‘Kali Maa’, goat to a Hanuman temple on the outskirts of Daman, donation to lucknow masjid). How does it all sound? My mother would leap to try anything possible for me. The world would tell me to relax, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, have faith in God, etc. That’s how I slowly turned short-tempered and would openly shout back ‘at least kneel down dirty’ – leave alone walking on the elbows for these 18 years. Then open street fights for the smallest reasons- one against four and wound myself apart from the accident injuries. Doctors would tell me to keep myself calm; but otherwise, not one has been able to care for me till date. The world of medicines led me into a big flaw.- my memory. At one time, I was not able to recollect a man’s name or a film’s hero, seen or met two days past.

Those days, my first firm job was at Damania Airways. ie. India’s 1st private airlne. Although on rent, the airline shot like a rocket. I was caring for the daily, monthly, annual withdrawals and expenses of the overall operations. Suddenly after 2 years, owner stopped payments to all vendors of kind and ulimaetly pocketed all the money. An Indian as a leader, will do anything to make money for own self.

Meanwhile, I’d applied to a private BPO named / afs / opened by Swissair in July ‘92. It also cared for Austrian Airline (neighbor). I slyly even passed the blood test with tricks. But when the results were given, I couldn’t think of being kicked off again and revealed truth. Failed. In Oct ’95, I was interviewed again (with help, of course) This time no results. Sister was married on 24th January, ’96 and that night I just sat looking at the sky and thinking what would happen next. I had helped her into Air-India and she was our bread-earner, then. A phone next morning on 25 Jan, ’96 asked me to come and collect my appointment letter at / afs / to start from March. That’s the first time I really thanked God. My sickness continued and my bad Team Leader there would make a public laughter of my work. Some months later, I blew his jaw. Today that man also wears ‘dental tooth’ like me. I could have been put into custody, but my President knew the past and saved me with a warning. I was given a challenge to work with the same group as punishment. My name was spoilt in the entire org. and the group would never accept my forgives, birthday cakes, no Hellos, nothing. Bad colleagues and faded memory did not allow me to climb the ladder as I as I would have, otherwise. My sickness after a time grew so worse that I started collapsing almost everyday of the month, in place of 3-4. A court order was also sent to my house that the org. will not be held responsible for Zubin’s death in any way, anywhere, and at any time.

In 2000, Swissair bombed. We were finished. Our President was forced to reduce our team of 1750 employees, to 450. With managerial power, we somehow stood and undertook BPO contracts of Singapore cargo, DHL couriers and a couple more. Our six-sigma level was consistently above 99.5% for over seven years. The great and shrewd TCS (Tata Consultancy Services) bought all the staggered shares of Swissair and thus we merged into TCS. I became an employee of TCS-BPO; now, the world’s best BPO. But read the interesting story after interval.

A neurologist, was visited without much hope. But surprisingly, his medicines started showing hope. I firstly started regaining memory (that’s when I noticed) and slowly, a will to regain. I can’t depict; but I could see hope and since then started listening to ‘instinct’ . One reason why I clash against the whole world, but I’ve won and survived. Today, that doctor has recreated me. In 2000, he had said my medicine doze may increase, but today the has reduced my tablets from 16 to 10 per day. I, in turn see a combination of good food, fair sleep, and exercise as my secret of good health.

Life in TCS has not become relaxed. Although my salary reshaped, the immediate superiors there were from / afs / . A story, but they sucked my blood proved my unworthiness, cut my emoluments and today I am earning 48.05% less of what I ordinarily would have. I, a 12-yr experienced is earning what TCS would have paid to a grade below me who’d hardly be a 3-yr. The bloody company is so huge, that it is only looking at only one thing, “ to become the World’s Top 10 by 2010 “. There is so much manpower and work that nobody is personally looked upon, in any way. I have somehow fought to the top here also, otherwise would have been thrown away by now, at this age of >40. Nobody’s worried. Authoritative well-wishers say, I have won the present battle but TCS will not let me rise.

Presently, under medication, my health is slowly carving up. My short temper also plans to reshape a bit by 2010. I have convinced my way into working in the recruitment team of TCS- only under the top’s observation in HR department. I have challenged them to prove me of my inability to work. In the meanwhile, learning a lot about the dirty working market of today’s era. Constant advise of overcoming my weaknesses at work and in life, which were initially never taken care of. Sometimes, I feel tired; but I tell myself that I’ve ultimately learnt to rumble through the tunnel all alone. I want nobody’s help.

I only believe GOD IS GREAT. Only he is my one true friend. I always discuss everything, every time, only with him and then do what we decide. It’s the best positive outlook and I see myself successful with it. The best is to stop thinking about worldly worries and think of reshaping self and family.

That’s all. Bye for now,