Living with Dementia

I am a seventeen year old girl. At this point in my life I am applying for colleges, scholarships, just getting ready to start my grown-up life. My grandpa however is ending his. My granfather has Dementia. I stay as far away as I can. I know he dosent know me and if he does I’m not sure how he knows me. Any day could be his last and I’m scared. As blunt as this story is. It’s the truth.

My mom, on top of raising a family, being a single parent, paying bills and working a part-time job because their are no full-time jobs here in Michigan has temporary guardianship of my grandpa, being his caregiver on so many levels; emotionally and physically.

My grandfather is now at home. Hospice comes in every couple of days and helps take care of him. I don’t want to see him like this, I don’t want to remember him like this. I feel guilty for feeling this way but this is just my way of coping.

Two years ago my Aunt Pat passed suddenly. In previous years she had cancer in both breasts and went through chemotherapy I didn’t ever want to go see her. I felt guilty because I thought I was being selfish. “It is her last days on earth and I’m thinking about my own feelings…”, I’d say to myself. And now I feel that way about my Grandpa.

I sometimes feel my mom is upset with me. I never knew a disease like this could affect so many people. I worry about him, I want him to pass lightly and comfortably. And I want him to know he’s loved.