Living with Dementia

I began having personality changes about 20 months ago. I am 60 years old. I did not notice the changes, my wife and family noticed them.

I did feel there was something different but I am not sure.

My wife insisted I go to the Dr. or else. I went to a neurologist and told my wife I wanted physical factors ruled out before seeking psychological treatment.

The Dr. ran all the tests including a PET. Spinal tap etc. All appeared OK. He said I did have difficulty with some memory (words) and this thing he does with your fingers.

An EEG showed siezures. I was put on namenda, exelon and lamictal in January .The internist already prescribed a small dose of lexapro.

My wife says I showed significant improvement over 4 to 6 months. She said I was almost acting like myself.

Then in the middle of summer she said it seemed the meds quit working or were not working as well.

It has been difficult and we have even had marital poblems. I even had a fling(in my mind) with one of my much younger employees(only thought about it never did anything but still told my wife)

I then sought a psychiatrist to make sure I was not crazy.

My wife and I have been married 35 years, we know each other very well.

The psychiatrist has helped with frustration and anger.

My wife and I were having a conversation last Friday. She told me she had some things to tell me.

She said life has been difficult for us for 2 years. The Psychiatrist said we are experiancing role reversal. We own a night club. My wife explained to me she has had to take over many of the decision roles and very personnel and vendor relationships because I was floundering in that role.( this made me angry) She did not say anything to me because she did not want me to feel any worse than I already felt.

She said I do a good job of hiding everything from people who do not know me well, but she knows me to well to fool her.

She said my daughter complains that I tell her the same things over and over, but some days everything is ok.

My wife says I can’t make decisions. I search for words and sometimes when she talks to me I hear her but I dn’t know what she is saying.

She said She is getting concerned about my driving. She said some days I’m ok and others I do not drive so good. I know she will tell me I sometimes stop for green lights and slow down a lot and she reminds me to speed up.

I asked her point blank where she thought I stood. She said if the next 2 or 3 years are like this year, she felt I would be in a wheel chair or worse.

I do know, and she did not have to tell me that some days I can not write at all and somes days i write clearly. Very often I drop my fork several times during a meal. She told me I stumble 30 or 40 times a day.

I’m shocked. I knew a little something was going on but not like this.

I hate leaving her with this burden.