Living with Brain Cancer

After suffering 3 years of distressing panic attacks after the breakdown of my marriage, in February 2000, I was diagnosed to be actually suffering from epilepsy as the result of a brain tumour in my right frontal lobe! I was rushed into surgery and months later had many months of radiotherapy to mop up any left-overs. This all came like a bolt out of the blue. In the hospital nurses would ask how long I had been suffering headaches for and my reply was “I didn’t till you cut my head open”. I was so stunned about it all I didn’t cry but people around me did; I even lost some friends over it! An MRI scan the following October showed great results and I have had follow up MRI’s ever since. I was told a clear scan after 5 years is a cure. My 5 year scan came with good results but the yearly MRI scan continued. On my 8th year scan it showed that I again had a brain tumour. This time it is too deep to operate on and radiotherapy is not a treatment option because I had the maximum dose in 2000 and too much radiation can give you cancer! My only treatment option now is a tablet form of chemotherapy which doesn’t make my hair fall out but boy does it make me sick. Thankfully there is medication I can take to deal with that. So now I am in limbo; the chemo cannot rid me of the cancer, its essentially just buying me more time to spend with my teenagers But I don’t actually think of it like that because I never felt like I was going to die anyway.