Living with Asperger's Syndrome

I’m 17yrs old and my psychiatrist says that I have Asperger’s syndrome.Let me tell you what I do,I sometimes rock back and forth and side to side,I flap my hands,hit my finger against the bottom of my chin,bark like a dog,lay on the floor and sometimes push myself on my back,spin around in circles,I’m not social and have no intention of being,sometimes I smack my head,I have bitten myself,and banged my head on walls but I haven’t bitten or banged my head in quite some time,I sometimes blow spit bubbles,but not very often.

I don’t understand people at all.And when I was little I would stack up these big legos then knock them down, when I play with toys I put them in certain positions and then look at them and maybe rearrange them, then I put them away.And sometimes I repeat what the tv says or what people say,but not all the time,and people tend to not notice it.I also use to line up dominos and build things with them.And I read that people with Asperger’s may want to be social and try to fit in but don’t know how.And thats not me,I don’t want or like to be social and I don’t want to fit in.

And I read some on Autism and Asperger’s and I fit both,except I developed language at the right age and I didn’t have any trouble potty training.But my behaviour is both Autistic and Asperger’s,because I would rather be in my own world,and I don’t like talking,but people are always making me feel I have to respond.I have also copied what people at school has said and their behaviour,so maybe that’s why it’s takin me so long to be diagnosed,that and probably because I’m a girl.

And I do not like loud noise,it hurts my ears.And also when I get my toy cars out I line them up.And sometimes I makes noises with my mouth or say things that doesn’t make sense.well i guess thats it.maybe someone can tell me whether my behaviour is more Autistic or Asperger’s.Also I like to daydream and stare into space sometimes and think about nothing,and its hard for me to communicate feelings and when I’m at school,its hard for me to talk and sometimes move because i don’t want anyone to look at me,and I avoid eye contact.

And I pretty much do the same thing everyday and I wouldn’t want that to change.